drugs...

Well if you don't know me than you don't know that my mother has been a drug addict off and on my entire life. Really she has been a drug addict for about 45 years. My sister and I always thought we would get that call one day that she was dead from an overdose or was murdered. Well instead I, as a young mother of 3, get to also take on the responsibility of taking care of my mother. The drugs have ruined her brain. She shakes 24/7, she can't finish many thoughts, her memory is awful. She is just not there anymore. I needed to write this because its emotionally helpful. I cried so much last night that my eyes were swollen when I woke up this morning. I knew when she visited me after Emily was born in February that she was no longer the same person. I mean she was never a normal person to begin with but the "Cheryle" that I always have known is no longer there. It's so sad and depressing. It scares me to think that in a few years that she could not be here anymore... That my kids will never know their grandmother as being even kinda normal. And to take on the responsibility at the age of 26 of being her care taker... THIS SUCKS!!! But thats the life that I was dealt... God gives us life and we have to deal with the choices we make but also the choices of those around us. Please pray for me so that I can have the strength to handle my mother and raise 3 awesome kids!